simply me

This past Friday I had an operation done in my mouth. The reasoning for this is because nearly 4 years ago this tooth underwent some severe trauma when I fell on hardwood floor during a track and field practice. Initially, we didn't actually realize how much the tooth was effected so we did what we could, but continued to learn different things through the years. I've been to more dentist, oral surgeon and periodontist appointments for this one tooth in the last 4 years than I had dental appointments the 17 years before that (oaky that may be a bit exaggerated... but it certainly feels like it!) Honestly, I've lost count of how many times I've had bits of the tooth break off and need crafted back on.... or the hours spent driving back and forth from my town to my home dentist for various appointments. So many resources have been put into the health of this tooth with the knowledge that one day, when my facial bone structure is set enough, we would clear out the area an...

Have you ever felt quite alone in a pursuit? Like it's you and your little group of people trying to accomplish something which keeps falling? Motivation slowly but surly diminishes and you're suddenly at the end of the rope with no dream left. That's often been the story I've experienced, especially with campus ministry. But the Lord is bringing something fresh to my campus and inasmuch, my heart. A small group of students and community members have been working together with  Carry The Love  to bring their campus tour to our University!  This process has felt at times like the above questions, like we've been alone in our hopes and pursuits. But there has been such beauty uncovered as we have stepped up and reached out to our campus community. Our little team has grown at least double in prayer supporters.  This is awesome, but it pales in comparison to the heart's response to going and having conversations. Literally meeting people where th...

If you have lived with me for any amount of time, you know I am often quite particular about how things are done. From my perspective there are right and wrong ways to do things. Often times this mentality comes from a lack of exposure to these other ways people do household things.  It's strange to me and somehow this makes it wrong.  In the past, I have given little grace for this. I'd like to say I'm getting better at being understanding, but I'm not sure I'm the best judge of whether this statement holds truth.  Because of how firm my thoughts are on certain things, it's also been difficult to give myself grace when I  don't do the things I have asked and expected of others. Only with the recognition of my humanity have I come to be more understanding and graceful towards others as well.  Cooking is one of the largest things that I have a pretty firm stance on. Especially when cooking things like pasta. Pasta is one of the simplest thing...

Surely God is good to his people, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence. From their callous hearts comes iniquity; their evil imaginations have no limits. They scoff, and speak with malice; with arrogance they threaten oppression. Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth. Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. They say, "How would God know? Does the Most High know anything?" This is what the wicked are like- always free of care, they go on amassing wealth. Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. A...

I love writing. Over the years, I have found that writing is a great tool for me to process and get things out of my mind. Not all of my writing makes sense.... those are the journals that get thrown out after a few years... but other times, I think highly enough of my writing to share it with others - with you, the reader of my blog (to be honest, I'm often less confident in these writings than I give on). Additionally, I really enjoy sharing things that I have learned - or am currently learning. It's in that later phrase where my writing finds hesitation.  When I go through trials, make stupid or embarrassing mistakes, learn a really hard lesson, or am down on life, it's really hard to want to share those moments with the world. There are a few trusted companions who may or may not hear about those times (and may or may not receive my rambling writings). More often though, no one does. I reckon there are two fears at play here.  First, the obvious one ...

Sometimes, life is like this picture. You know there's something beautiful there, but it's really hard to see through the blur of the rain. Recently, I have come to realize another aspect of community which should be held in great esteem: Sharing.  I mean sharing your experiences with people, sending a quick message or photo about something that happened that day, or having a brief conversation about an event. Spending some time to share about life and what's been happening.   There have been many days recently that I have had a much greater desire to just sleep in, watch a show, or sit doing nothing, than to get up and do the work set before me. It's lackadaisical and it's depressing. I have had opportunities to be with people in community and have turned them down. This isolation only makes things worse. I have come to realize in the last few days that I have gotten to this stage due to my own lack of intentionality with community.  I do a lot...

This morning I was flipping through my Bible searching for a verse to encourage a sister. I had no particular verse in mind and was hoping to stumble across some lost gem. When passage "titles" mentioned encouragement or blessings, I would look a little closer at the text. I landed in Colossians 1. The section beginning at verse 3 is titled "Thanksgiving and Prayer" in my Bible.  I realized part way through that I missed some words 😅 However, it is good to think about scripture in our own words to relate it to our lives. As I read the first two verses there I thought about the woman I was looking to encourage: "Am I grateful for her faith?" "Do I thank God that she is my heavenly sister?"  "Do I thank Him for bringing her into my life?" "Do I thank God for any of my fellow Christians?" Through this I am compelled to give prayers of thanksgiving for my brothers and sisters in Christ. To see the impact...

As this day has been approaching I've thought about the anniversaries of death that affect me. "Everyday," I've thought to myself, "someone is struggling through the death of a loved one." I have certain days, and weeks, of the year during which I bitterly remember those I once knew. They're often just another day to those around me. Sometimes I feel that way, too. Other times I'm paralyzed by the memories. I reckon that each of these days is also a day of relief for others. They are anniversaries of a close call, the near miss of catastrophe. I met a young man on a plane this summer who's aunt was mean't to be on one of those flights, 18 years ago. She made a last minute choice to change her plans. Damn. How does that change the way you grieve such an event? I have found that the best way to grieve days like this one is to do just that, grieve.  Explore the way it affects me.  Write it out.  Share it.  Think about it.  D...

Longer still, I wait for you. Oh, come and show yourself! Not withholding truth, Go the lengths to speak Everything true. Remind me what we await! Something kicks my gut, Truth, conviction, repentance. Inside is turmoil and tension, Tension I must bring to the Lord. The Lord alone can resolve this now. I come to you, Lord! Without you, O Lord, Anxiety wins and terror rages. In your house, Lord, there is peace. This temple is yours, dwell here!

One of my courses this semester is about developing family and community partnerships as a teacher. Our first assignment was to write a poem about our family using a letter of our last name as the beginning of each line. We are bringing these poems and a photo of our families to class so we can post them in our classroom and celebrate our families together. I felt very restricted by having a short last name, but it gets the gist across... In true Horner fashion, we have been all over the world the past few months. Above is a photo we took a bit ago during 1 of 2 occurrences this year that our family was all in the same place! A sweet reunion it was, I look forward to many more in the times to come.  H ome is where family is O urs is all over! R ound the world we wander, N omads, some may say! E arth has been kind to us. Though R eunions are sweet, they’re all too few. -Jacqueline Ann

As my missions travels for the year have come to an end, I would like to take some time to reflect on the experience as a whole. About a month ago I returned to my hometown in Pennsylvania where life began to flow more traditionally. Many times people return home from traveling, school, missions, vacations, etc. and say “back to reality!” But I would argue that these experiences were also a reality, and are real parts of our lives. In my case: I had real experiences and encounters with other real people and with our real God. Real relationships were formed with other real people. All this in tangibly real places where all of us can realistically return to; where other people live their real lives in real time, all the time. Just because an experience doesn’t look like my life traditionally does doesn’t mean it’s an invalid reality… (food for thought!) That rant aside: Here are some other thoughts through which I will share some things I have learned, or am learning, as a result of m...

Morning view from the back door View while walking up the driveway one morning They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. From a human perspective this seems true. But what if things are beautiful even when we don’t prescribe them beauty? What if things are beautiful even when we don’t acknowledge their beauty? Over the years I have noticed that I am most acutely aware of beauty while traveling, especially while traveling to new or unknown places. I reckon the difference of my surroundings makes me stop and take notice. Through the past two months I have travelled quite a bit. Kansas, Victoria (Australia), New South Wales (Aus.), and airports in many cities between Pennsylvania and those places. In each of these places (maybe not quite so much the airports…) I have marveled at the beauty all around me. Then - for the first time ever - I flew into my hometown’s little 1.5 gate, single runway airport. It was a warm, sunny Saturday morning in late July. The...

Be still now, my mind. Rest in the Lord who provides for you. God will grant you time and provision for the things you fear you will forget. Be restored now, my mind. Accept the gift of the Lord who died for you. God sees you as whole because Christ has enabled your restoration. Now. Today. The work is complete. Accept this blessing and rest.

I am a single soul. Torn between two worlds, My heart morns the loss of one While proclaiming the arrival of another. Which comes? Which goes? Only Heaven knows. Ah, Heaven! Yes, my Lord in Heaven! You know. You alone are constant. You alone are sure. You alone are steadfast. You alone remain. I am a single soul, Made whole in the Lord, My heart morns this life While it rejoices in His Kingdom come! When will He come? When will evil go? Only Heaven knows. In Heaven! Yes, the Lord of Hosts! He knows. He alone is constant. He alone is sure. He alone is steadfast. He alone remains!

Hello friends! Thank you so much for your love and support throughout the past seven weeks! In this short time I have traveled to Kansas (USA) and Victoria (Australia) to partner with fellow believers in the work of the Gospel. The interconnectedness of the worldwide church has been beautiful to experience! Throughout my journeys I have met and served with individuals who originate from at least nine countries (and likely many other places of which I am unaware)! Our Lord is represented all over His Creation, oh what a beautiful sight! Our trip officially ended on Thursday with the departure of my team to Japan and the United States. Over the final few days of our time together the team capitalized on time with other young adults - loving and knowing them, babysitting -loving and caring for families, dinner with congregation members, Ladies book club, and English Conversation Class for those learning English as a second language. Each of these activities has shed more light into...

Greetings after a lengthier time without update! The past week and a half has been full and bustling with activity. Last weekend was the Geelong Bible Conference. The team helped pack information bags, set up chairs, tables, and classrooms, assist with childcare on Saturday and cook for supper on Sunday. The weekend was quite full on but lots of fun and good company! If you're interested in the teachings from the weekend check out http://www.geelongbibleconference.org.au/ Following the weekend we rested then got to hosting a ladies brunch, sharing at ladies guild, planning and helping with the School Holiday Program, planning and running youth group as well as a disc golf lesson, family dinners and a trip to Lorne on the Great Ocean Road! This week we got to connect with people of all ages in the church and local community, some friendships were strengthened while others were formed. It is such a blessing to encourage youth and learn from elders. Praise the Lord for communi...

Nathan,  even as I long to write, my body seeks to reject the acknowledgement of its pain. However, Ecclesiastes reminds me that the reality of sin and death must be faced. I long to share with you, dear friend, what the Lord has been teaching me. I will share them, though I know the joy and sorrows that I engage in my lessons here on earth are no longer relevant to your understanding.  This was my sunset the night of July 10, 2017. Taken along the Great Ocean Road in Australia near Memorial Arch. Just about 24 hours later I learned that my good friend, Nate had died the morning of July 10 in Pennsylvania, USA. This photo would have been taken just hours before Nate died in a car accident at age 18. I think of him each time I see this photo.  This death, your death, has hurt more than most. Though I am confident in your salvation, your sudden absence has been a staunch reminder that all is not right in the world. I believe that Jesus weeps for everyone wh...

Greetings, Since I wrote my last update there has been much activity and change! Over the past weekend we attended young adult camp with about 25 other young adults. There were some who joined us from the Presbyterian Church of Eastern Australia. These brothers and sisters came from Brisbane and Tasmania for the weekend. I am so grateful to have met these fellow believers and get to know them a bit. Praise the Lord for safe travels back and forth as well as a camp to have as a destination for broader community beyond the local church. The topic of our discussions was how to disagree. Throughout the weekend we spoke with each other about how to respect people with theological convictions, opinions and questions that you personally don't agree with or are convicted about. Throughout the trip there have been many conversations about theology, people asking the opinions of others on Biblical topics, etc.. Having “how to disagree” as a camp topic was really beneficial because it...

Hello! I have now been in Melbourne for just over a week and the Lord is already moving in awesome ways! There is too much to express each detail in length but I will give you the overview. After a few lovely days with David and Robyn we moved to our home with Maria in Frankston. That night there was a single ladies hang out which continued the following day. Through our time together we discussed many Biblical things and questions. It was really neat to see people from a few different theological backgrounds come together and chat about what we believe. Sunday was a great day of fellowship with the joint McKinnon and Frankston congregations. These congregations currently worship together at the McKinnon facility. It was so nice to see and catch up with members from both locations! Through the week we have been spending time with church members in assistance capacities (like cleaning and watching children) as well as exploring the beauty of Creation around us. This weekend there is ...

Winchester Week 3 Review Greetings! I am excited to share that the Winchester, Kansas, mission trip finished up well! This past week my one remaining team member and I did various tasks for members of the congregation. We also spent time with some of the families. It was so nice to get to know some of the church members a bit better by just spending time in their homes. We also got the chance to interact with one of the unchurched children who had been in my class for VBS. His sister was playing softball with one of the pastors daughters. This boy saw me first and initiated conversation. He then sat with our group at the game. This was encouraging to me because I could see the way VBS had already made an impact on my community interaction. Something about his time in my group at VBS made him comfortable enough to approach and converse with me in another setting. That was such a blessing! Throughout the week we prepped some sound panels for the worship center, washed and cleaned wind...

This past week was VBS week in Winchester. I had the great pleasure of leading our group of Archaeologists -the 4th and 5th graders - for our "Faith Expedition". The theme this year was archaeology and the stations we participated in each day helped us to dig into scripture to learn about those in the Bible who had the faith to follow, believe, obey, repent, and share the good news of saving grace in Jesus Christ. My group of young Faith archaeologist were a rowdy group. But I would not trade working with that group for any other job this week. I had an interesting smattering of churched and unchurched children with a wide range of family backgrounds. It has been a blessing to share the love of Christ with them and be an influence in their lives for 12 short hours this week. Two of our team members departed for home on Monday, and arrived safely. Thank you for praying over their travels! Another member returned home on Saturday morning. We were blessed to have her working w...

This update was written on Friday, some more adventures gave taken place since then which mostly include our first fully sunny day of work, supper with two other families, s'mores, Church, and lunch with Pastor and his family! Week one of the Kansas Mission is now in the books! Myself and 4 other young ladies have been coming alongside the local RP church and presbytery in their efforts to increase use of the 60 acre camp they own and facilitate. Thus far we have done lots of tree trimming, sapling cutting, wading through poison ivy, staining of the caretakers’ house, fence set up, painting of the swing gate, window frames and grill. We have visited with members of the community almost every night of the week. Baked goods are our gift of choice when on house visits! Scones and muffins have been made thus far, we'll see what the choices are for our next hosts. Most mornings the pastor of the Winchester congregation, Kyle, comes out to the camp (where we are residing for the ti...

We all open up differently to each person we interact with in our lives. Every time I return to my home town I run into friends and family. Inevitably people will ask "how have you been?" For those closer friends that I haven't talked to in a while my response typically looks a lot like this:  I take in a deep breath, sigh, and look painfully into their eyes while shaking my head and slumping my shoulders. My friends have come to understand this as "I've been so overwhelmed, I don't even know where to begin." Recently I've been adding "I'm so glad to be done with this academic year!"   One friend last week said "I feel like this is how you are every time." "This year has been the legitimate worst," I assured him and added a head nod to affirm his statement. We didn't discuss the mundane details but hit on one or two large things. I was sure not to dwell on those negatives though and it wasn't hard for us...

After Jubilee  this year I decided to ask a few friends if they would like to share their experiences at the conference. I particularly chose individuals whom I know enjoy writing and sharing through that medium. I am honored to introduce to you my dear friend and sister in Christ. Without further ado I give you the words and writing of Caleigh Sullivan: Jubilee of 2019. Where do I begin to express the love and hope of God I experienced? In these moments I sit back and pray “Lord, fill my mouth with Your words”. I would like to take you all back to a year ago. A year ago, going in to Jubilee 2018, I was not Caleigh. But if I had to introduce myself to you it would be this: broken, abused, sad, lost, unidentified, doubtful, needy, attention seeking. And so, I went to Jubilee with this high expectation that God would change all of that in one weekend. I was excited and anxious mixed together with a great anticipation of how much my life could flip upside down. But, as I wa...

Voice of the Martyrs Logo I recently attended a Voice of the Martyrs ( VOM) conference which transformed my view of persecution and how we ought to act when we are persecuted for Jesus name. I am still grappling with some things, but it is apparent to me that I don't do a good job of showing love those who hate me or my King. In all the stories that I heard at the VOM Advance Conference  everyone who was persecuted prayed fervently for the lives of those persecuting them. Many villages have come away with stories of individuals who once did the persecuting but now are among our brothers and sisters in Christ!  The assistance which is most frequently asked for is prayer. Those in restricted and hostile nations know that the greatest thing they can do for themselves and their communities is pray. I shudder to think what some of the individuals I heard about would react to my Christian walk. Would I even be recognizable as their sister? Or would my lack of devotion...