on cooking pasta

If you have lived with me for any amount of time, you know I am often quite particular about how things are done. From my perspective there are right and wrong ways to do things. Often times this mentality comes from a lack of exposure to these other ways people do household things. 

It's strange to me and somehow this makes it wrong. 

In the past, I have given little grace for this. I'd like to say I'm getting better at being understanding, but I'm not sure I'm the best judge of whether this statement holds truth. 

Because of how firm my thoughts are on certain things, it's also been difficult to give myself grace when I don't do the things I have asked and expected of others. Only with the recognition of my humanity have I come to be more understanding and graceful towards others as well. 

Cooking is one of the largest things that I have a pretty firm stance on.

Especially when cooking things like pasta.

Pasta is one of the simplest things to cook, and it has floored me at times when I've taught adults how to do this task. Most of the time, I have not been understanding of their perspectives. 

Occasionally, though, I am reminded to step back and give more grace and understanding to people. These reminders often come in the form of my own failure to follow conventions. 

Last night, for example:

I found myself merrily making dinner when suddenly I realized the water is supposed to boil before the noodles go in. I had done it totally backwards: pasta, water, then stovetop.

This realization cause a moment of pause in which I told myself, "Jacqueline, it's okay, we all make mistakes. The noodles can - and will - still cook. Give yourself some grace."

It amazed me how peaceful I was about it. Following this understanding and peace, I noticed the lack of stress I put on myself. It was no longer about how properly I cooked my pasta, or about breathing down my own neck when I didn't. This response was about cultivating honor, understanding and peace. From this place I though about the times I haven't given grace or been understanding...

How many times have I judged someone for putting the noodles in before the water?

How little grace have I shown when this happens?

This silly little event was so convicting to me. In my studies, both of education and of the Bible, I talk about listening to people, hearing them out and seeking to understand their perspective. 

But, honestly... how frequently have I thrown the first stone?
Without listening?

Without seeking to understand?

Without first looking at myself?

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God" - Jesus