a note to Nathan

Nathan, even as I long to write, my body seeks to reject the acknowledgement of its pain. However, Ecclesiastes reminds me that the reality of sin and death must be faced. I long to share with you, dear friend, what the Lord has been teaching me. I will share them, though I know the joy and sorrows that I engage in my lessons here on earth are no longer relevant to your understanding. 

This was my sunset the night of July 10, 2017. Taken along the Great Ocean Road in Australia near Memorial Arch. Just about 24 hours later I learned that my good friend, Nate had died the morning of July 10 in Pennsylvania, USA. This photo would have been taken just hours before Nate died in a car accident at age 18. I think of him each time I see this photo. 


This death, your death, has hurt more than most. Though I am confident in your salvation, your sudden absence has been a staunch reminder that all is not right in the world. I believe that Jesus weeps for everyone who perishes from this life. More bitterly for those unsaved, but all death is a reminder of sin, brokenness, and the reality of fallen creation. It is a reminder of broken promises, ones we are now unable to fulfill because of death. Absence, your absence, has taught me the most about how Christ relates to the fallen world. About how he mourns (John 11). About the reality that our fallen state is not the way things were created to be. My heart delights to imagine you with the Lord, praising his holy name. It is so lovely to know that you have been transported - by Gods external relationship with I time - into a place where he has wiped away every tear from your eyes, and where death is no more. Neither is there mourning or crying or pain anymore (Revelation 21). Though I have knowledge of this truth, and joy in it, I still mourn and weep in pain of suffering. I mostly don't feel joyful when I remember your death. The Word of the Lord instructs us to mourn, to lament all which is wrong in the world. This vessel is still wrestling with the tension of mourning and joy. Her heart needs space, time and company in the honorable house of mourning (Ecclesiastes 7).

From my heart, 
Jacqueline

Psalm 13
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? 
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? 
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.



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