taking a spiritual pause

This past Friday I had an operation done in my mouth. The reasoning for this is because nearly 4 years ago this tooth underwent some severe trauma when I fell on hardwood floor during a track and field practice. Initially, we didn't actually realize how much the tooth was effected so we did what we could, but continued to learn different things through the years. I've been to more dentist, oral surgeon and periodontist appointments for this one tooth in the last 4 years than I had dental appointments the 17 years before that (oaky that may be a bit exaggerated... but it certainly feels like it!) Honestly, I've lost count of how many times I've had bits of the tooth break off and need crafted back on.... or the hours spent driving back and forth from my town to my home dentist for various appointments. So many resources have been put into the health of this tooth with the knowledge that one day, when my facial bone structure is set enough, we would clear out the area and place an implant. Well, then an infection took root... On and on the story goes, one thing after another. 

Finally, we are making moves towards an implant. The first step was to remove the current tooth, root filling, and infection. Now we heal from this surgery and wait for the bone graft (done mid-surgery) to strengthen, then the process will continue with the implant and - a bit later - a fresh crown. 

Long story short, it's a time consuming process. 

Over the past few days since the extraction I have diligently taken pain meds, antibiotics, swished my mouth with prescription mouthwash, iced my face, and eaten about every 2 hours (while awake) to ensure my body has the nutrients and protection it needs to heal from the invasion it experienced. The whole weekend has been dedicated to regaining strength, keeping swelling down, and resting. My mother has been a huge part of these efforts as well and has provided space in her days to care for and sit with me in this moment of weakness. 

We've got it down to a science: what meds? what dosage? how often? which times?  

Those who know me also know that there is rarely a day when I don't have something scheduled. Even over holidays and breaks I work, clean, meet with people and do school work. So when I say I have nothing on my schedule, it's a shocker. With this operation it feels like I have hit pause on life and said, "I'll see ya when I get back." This intentional pause has me wondering why we always seem to make time for physical healing, but not spiritual healing?

How come it would be strange for me to hit pause on life and spend a weekend alone with God and call it productive, even necessary?

How come we experience spiritual, mental, emotional trauma and let it fester, but don't put out resources like we do for physical trauma? 

How come we always ask "how come...?" then don't do anything about it?

What if... instead of asking "why?" we set a new precedent?

My challenge to you (and to myself - of course!) is to set a new precedent of spiritual pause and renewal with the Lord. Find the trauma you are suppressing and set intentional time to heal that thing with the Lord. Let him lead you into the weakness of vulnerability and work in your spirit. 

~ Jacqueline Ann