Am I Just Dreaming?

Teary and drawn-out goodbyes have sprinkled my last 3-4 months; excitement and sadness melded together in my heart.

I'm finally headed back to Australia! 

Am I just dreaming... or is this real life?

The last time I was in that beloved country was 2019. I had made up my mind to return in less than 2 years and was busy plotting my course of action when covid-19 arrived on shore. You know what happens next... the world shut down.

What a surreal time it has been. You know it. I know it. We don't really need to keep harping on those facts, right? 

What I find intriguing about this process of living in a pandemic-stricken world is that, though many plans have been cancelled and postponed, my plans were never guaranteed to come to pass in the first place! It was a stark reminder that I really have control over nothing yet God does and his ways are mysterious!
In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps - Proverbs 16:9

When I look back on my life I can see countless times that I set out with plans which never came to pass (pandemic or no). The LORD established my steps in a different direction.  

These few years which I thought would have been spent abroad have instead taken me back to my hometown where the Lord has been training me, strengthening me, and admonishing me.

In his faithfulness to me the LORD has allowed me to spend more time with my family and gave me new work and church communities to pour into during my time back home. He gave my fiancé and I time apart which I look upon with curiosity, grief, and thanksgiving for how we have been strengthened through it. I have been waiting -longing- not only to be close to my future husband, but also for the opportunity to begin fulfilling the call to Australia which God put in my heart many moons ago. He has taught me to trust in His ways and in His time. Through this teaching I am able to say, "Lord willing," and, "we will see what happens," with a sincere heart. 

Time that I thought would be better spent living and traveling abroad, the Lord has turned into a training ground before I fly. For this, I am incredibly grateful. 


This next step is a huge unknown, but which of our steps isn't? Please pray for me as I step forward in faith, that I will remain dedicated to training in God's word and hold onto the hope He has set before me. 

It is real life and God has brought me through so far. I know He will continue to fulfill His promises and show me that life is best when lived in His time. With all the change, God is constant.

Teary and drawn-out reunions are about to sprinkle my next few weeks; excitement and sadness still melded together in my heart. 


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