not my own masterpiece



Occasionally, I have days of nostalgia. What induces them varies but they oft make me think of what change has come in the last semester, year, or other length of time. 

This week it's triggered by the memory of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from a year ago yesterday. I've had plenty, so I knew fairly soon that I had acquired another TBI. I learned a ton that weekend about caring for myself amidst the joy of others and the busyness of a conference. In the following weeks I learned how differently the brain is affected when you get hit from the opposite direction than your used to (all my other concussions were hits to the back of my head, this one was from the front/top). Hope came and went with the results each doctor and physical therapy appointment. 

It's amazing to me how many expectations I set forth in my mind, not only with concussions, but with life as well. Whether expressly stated or held inside, I've always had plans, hopes, expectations. Rarely have those come to pass the way I anticipate.  I'm not sure why this still happens, but I am always amazed when I get to the other side and things have turned out differently. 

My expectations this time last year for Feb 2020 were nothing like what my life currently reflects. Sure, I'm taking the classes I expected, living in the home I expected, working the job I hoped to have. But my experiences over the past 365 days have shown a drastically different reality from my expectation. My aspirations, expectations now for the future, are different. 
So much has happened... I've met new people, traveled new places, established new priorities. I'm learning to rest, to chose my company wisely, and to stand up for myself. As the fruit of spending time with him, the Lord has shown me how faithful he is in the hardest of times.

The Lord has blessed me beyond measure; shattering my expectations in leu of a beautiful reality. Only God can take my broken pieces and turn them into a masterpiece. And praise him that I'm his masterpiece and not my own!

Through all this, and no matter what, one hope remains. That is that Christ will come and restore to new life those he has chosen. For we know "the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations" (Psalm 100:5)





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